bff crises

Sometimes it's hard to let some stuff go. Sometimes it's hard to let the hand slide a bit and leave the people you love go away from you. I know you are not going anywhere, I know you're still here with me. I know you don't forget the friendship, the laughs, the hugs and kisses, I know that. I don't think our friendship is breaking apart, not at all, that is not what I mean, I'm just scared. I loved you with all my heart and you're one of the best hearts out there, you were always a piece of heaven that I could count on. What hurts my heart is to think that I know nothing about you anymore. Is the fact that you probably don't call me anymore to tell me the stupid thing that just happened and you will call her. I want you forever with me, I want you to be my kids godmother, I want you as my Maid of Honor. I want to be beside you as well, I want all we thought when we are just little girls. It wasn't my fault what happened with me a year ago, but I don't want to lose you too, that has a lot of weight on my heart because I was the one that left Portugal. Christmas is coming and I miss you so much. I was numb last year and didn't even realized, and now I wish I could just hug you and tell you how much I love you. I think best friends are like boyfriends, 'cause you can't even describe the feeling of loving someone that understands you so much. I knew that things would be different as soon as that plane took off, but I still remember the last hug we had, and how much we were crying. You were there for me, till the last minute, and I can't forget that. I'm scared of losing you, and I'm sorry. I know I'm the baby in this relationship. and I'm sorry 'cause I know you don't understand why am I like this. I guess you have her like I have Emily, and maybe you feel a bit the same way but I cry way much. Please, just don't forget that I really miss you and that this Christmas time I'm gonna have a hard time. 

I hope at least that you will enjoy your gifts and the little letter I wrote you. I hope you will have a warm and cozy heart after you open and read it. I love you pumpkin, I'm sorry for this. 

I always keep my promises. You jump, I jump.

Um sempre, é um sempre.