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Monday, November 10, 2014

265 days of hope

We spend most of our life looking for something perfect, something ideal, something that will make us feel complete and truthful to ourselves, looking for something or someone. At some point in time we all look for the other side of the orange, we all look for someone that laughs with you, that loves you, kisses you, cries with you, someone that fights for you! Most of us started way to soon in life looking for that piece of life, most of us don't know how to love properly, we only know how to get hurt. The perfect, the ideal, the amazing love in fairy tales that we all look for doesn't exist, all because we are humans, All the mistakes, the fights, opinions, all those are a big part of our brain, all for our personality. The only person that can read your body, your mind and soul is the love of your life. 
I look at myself way to many times, and I see how my life changed, The hard part is the decision, thinking ahead, seeing that your future may be better if your decisions help you getting there! Life is a fight and if you are ok with not fighting you will be only one more just being played, One year and a couple months and I'm a totally different person, I love me first, I have my money, my responsibilities, my happiness, I have so much more opportunities here, going to Portugal is going to be a huge adventure if you go with me. Can't wait to visit Paris, South of France and Portugal. I miss my bed, my pink room, my pillows, I miss my couch and my kitchen, I miss my house and all the memories I created there. I miss my little city, that I had has my world. I miss the parties, the dancing, oh I miss that! All those little things make me the person I am today. I don't want to go back though, I learned that for me looking back just brings sadness and disappointment, and I'm not like that anymore. I laugh most of my day, I dress up every day, I go out and enjoy my drinks, I study hard, I moved my entire life for a better future. I guess I'm not the typical Portuguese women that sits around and waits for her perfect husband to take care of her and go to work, I was always and I will be independent, I do what I want, when I feel like, either if you like it or not. Like now, I should be studying for the midterm, and I'm here 'cause I felt like it. 
Love is a naked soul, and this is me, I love everyone that sits and spends time reading a little bit of my day, my heart, my life. I see to many people pretending that they are in loved with something that doesn't exist, and that hurts me because that is not the nature of love. 

I'm a romantic and single. At this point being single is the best that happened to me 'cause the world and the people I saw after that was amazing! Don't ever let love turn you into someone you don't like, don't close yourself and DO NOT live only for that person, it's not worth it! Live with that person, not for her, because they may not live for you and then yes, it hurts. 

There's lots of people that today will not know who I am, what I became. The ones who say that I'm brave, courageous, amazing, strong, I juts did what I had to do, live and leave behind what doesn't make you happy. 

265 days of HOPE 

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